Old Folk

My gramma’s old. She eats like a bird. She must have an eating disorder but I don’t think we like to say things like that about old people. We like to make more stomach-able excuses for them because, as we all know, old people don’t do anything bad or self-serving; lo, they are simple folk who bring joy and peace to the lives of youngins. So, my gma, she’s not a big fan of food, and picks at the food on her plate like she’s playing russian roulette and some forkfull, SOMEWHERE, is laced with poison. Then she’ll shake a bag of candy at you when you’ve already got a brownie in your hand and say “Oh, candy? You said you’d like some? Here, take some candy with you.” I’ll give YOU some candy, lady. Though for all this grandma-hating chat, I love the old bag. I can’t even believe I just called her an old bag. YOU’RE an old bag.
Girlfriend got pluck.
Do you think, when my generation gets old, that we will begin to play bridge and wear cardigans and lined wool slacks? Is it a product of a generally more conservative upbringing that stops them from having wild parties at her retirement community? DO they have wild parties at her retirement community and I just don’t see it? They are all just so proper and I wonder, do you get more proper as you get older or when I’m old, will I be just the same as I am now? Will I be lazy and watch television all day because I can (obviously this will be in 3D with laser vision plus it will be scented, obviously)? Will I watch marathons of hour-long reality programs about weight-loss and addiction and hoarding because why not? Or will I be ‘too busy’ like my grandma? Will I spend afternoons down at the retirement community bar with my boozy friends just because I can? Or is one of the perils of having boozy friends is that most of them are gone by the time you’re 85 anyways?
Will I still wear jeans everyday? Really, honestly? I don’t think I’ve gone more than 3 days without wearing a pair of jeans (unless its so hot you sweat through them) since I can remember. But when I’m an oldie, will I wear slacks? Surely, when I’m old, I will just wear slippers with excellent treads on the bottom to facilitate their wear both indoors and out. Hm - this seems where I may currently merge with the oldies - a desire for comfort footwear.
I dunno, though. I think probably by the time I’m 85 I’ll not have changed too much. But who knows, you know? Nearly sixty years will pass before I turn 85 - that’s a freaking lifetime. When I think about it that way, my grandma can act any way she wants. I think of how much I recreated my self in the last 27 years - changes so distinct I sometimes wonder who that girl was who resided in my body ten years ago. So maybe gma is currently, with 85 years of tailoring, just the BEST, most AWESOME version of herself and I just can’t realize it. Fook. I should just shut up, eh?